Wife. Mama. Amateur Cook. Pretend Sewer. Novice To All Things Domestic.

About

14798_10151635973378579_704222944_n

Um, hi there. My name is Shayna (glances nervously down, sweat building in the crevices of my arms).

Public speaking is so hard for me. For a lot of people, I assume. That’s why the internet provides great outlets for people to be comfortable enough to get vulnerable and real.

So why do I feel my breath quickening as I type?

My husband, C, says to write for me, not for other people. But when you are writing an about page, you are writing for other people completely.

Deep breath..

Being a mother is the best. Don’t all moms say that? It is true. It is amazing, exhausting and extremely rewarding all in one; every single day.

But sharing my mama chronicles is not the only reason I want to blog.

It has taken me years of practice to hone in on Shayna- who I am, who I want to become. Learning the art of acceptance. To just be.

I spent years taking care of other people- siblings, men, parents, grandparents—and those things came so much easier than taking care of me.

I spent more years numbing so that I could escape facing Shayna.

Listening to myself, taking care of myself, nurturing my spirit and soul- these things can be difficult.

For many years, it was so much easier to just not. To stay consumed with other people, other substances. To put my all into something so I didn’t have to look at me.

Eventually, I became completely broken. I had hit my bottom. It was time to face myself.

After being stripped of everything and everyone, I was left with me.

The most uncomfortable feeling in the world.

Two weeks into this process, I found myself on the bottom of a bath tub begging God to help me. Surrendering to Him.

This started the greatest relationship of my life.

This moment defines who I am today.

I have been given the gift of a second chance.

I have the most blessed existence.

I am married to the most handsome, hilarious, and perfect for me man, C.

64703_10151635018413579_1905480536_n

 

I have a healthy, beautiful son named Corbin.

46907_10151635965328579_1866526805_n

Since becoming Corbin’s mom, I have had moments where I have been fearful of losing myself in this mama role.

I know that these years with him are going to fly by. That one day my mornings will not be about Jake and the Neverland Pirates, how fast I can peel a Clementine and reheating my coffee three times before I pour the stale, cold sludge down the sink.

And when that day comes, I don’t want to be lost.

I want to know that through it all, I have maintained the woman I have grown to know and dare I say it.. love.

I hope that I continue to change with my growing family- that God breaks and molds me to most importantly live in His will but to also be the best wife and mom that I can be to these boys I have been blessed to share a life with.

But because I know myself, I know that it will be easy for me to lose myself in this journey.

That is why I am creating this space- to document our story, to connect- to fill and to be filled.

My wish is for this blog to be a place you can come to laugh, feel apart of, and leave encouraged. I hope that you stick around.

603358_10151635017798579_286062110_n

We are the Carters and this is our story.

 

 

 

 

 

2 comments :

Leave a Reply to Christi (cancel)



Theme by Blogmilk   Coded by Brandi Bernoskie